I was walking Oreo down the block. He stopped to sniff a bush. I looked up to see a lady standing in the door of her garden apartment about ten feet away. I smiled and nodded politely, and looked back down at Oreo.

She said: "Get him away from there. I plant stuff."

Let's recap, lady:

• He was on the sidewalk.


• There was a rail between him and the bush.


• He was JUST SNIFFING.

For once, Oreo was being a Very Good Dog, and he got two treats for it when we got home.

Naturally, I pulled Oreo away from there as fast as I could. When I passed the same house from the other side of the street, I noticed her pouring disinfectant where Oreo was standing. Are you kidding me? Yes, Oreo kills plants, but not by smelling them.

The only condolence I get is writing about this here. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go disinfect all the places Oreo lays in my apartment.

listening to: simpsons.
in my sink: air.