episode V: the lipitor strikes back.
It's been over a week since my self-imposed hiatus, but I feel like everything's just moving backward.
I was becoming used to the idea of freelance writing. I was growing used to the idea of not making truckloads of money, and just scraping by. I thought I pretty much discovered what I want, which is, you know, some good nighttime entertainment and a couch to sit on in a warm room when I'm tired.
Then, there's those sudden curveballs life likes to throw. The doctor decided I need to go on Lipitor for my high cholesterol, which is all very well and fine, except without insurance this means an $83 per month medicine bill for life. I was nervous about losing health insurance before, but now it's certain doom. It's no longer just a question of whether or not I'm going to make enough money to keep my apartment; now I must make enough money to support my new drug habit.
And I walk down the street on the phone listening to my mom tell me I have nothing to worry about as long as I'm applying for nice full-time jobs with hefty insurance benefits. Just as I was trying to take back control over my life and declare my freedom from any soul-crushing bureaucratic corporate world, the fates must have felt the need to show me exactly how much control I really have over any of that.
Just when I thought I was out, they PULL ME BACK IN.
I feel like the street in front of my apartment, which was gushing water through a rupture this morning, and now has city trucks digging up its guts through a new car-sized hole. I imagine the road saying no, this isn't good, this isn't good at all, I'm all wet, and what is this, what are you doing? I just want to be pavement, I just want to be a road again, and now I'm all messed up, can we please stop? Just stop a minute, I need some time, I need to digest this, please, stop the digging, and for the love of God, STOP DRIVING ON ME!
As the cars continue to drive down my poor street, life continues to ram its lifelike momentum down my throat, and I still feel the need to STOP. I need a full vacation, not just this mini blog-and-photography haitus. It's a good thing next week is spring break, however, it won't be much of a vacation if I just keep on doing what I'm doing, even if I've already stopped all the photography and blogging. I need to turn off the computer for an entire week or more and stay away from the internet while I try to sort all this out.
It's not personal. Just don't expect much from me for about a week. If you need to get in touch with me, then I hope you have my phone number.
listening to: the cars, M83
in my sink: 2 bowls, 2 spoons, some knives, a plate, a fork, i dunno, i'm too lazy to get up and check.
I was becoming used to the idea of freelance writing. I was growing used to the idea of not making truckloads of money, and just scraping by. I thought I pretty much discovered what I want, which is, you know, some good nighttime entertainment and a couch to sit on in a warm room when I'm tired.
Then, there's those sudden curveballs life likes to throw. The doctor decided I need to go on Lipitor for my high cholesterol, which is all very well and fine, except without insurance this means an $83 per month medicine bill for life. I was nervous about losing health insurance before, but now it's certain doom. It's no longer just a question of whether or not I'm going to make enough money to keep my apartment; now I must make enough money to support my new drug habit.
And I walk down the street on the phone listening to my mom tell me I have nothing to worry about as long as I'm applying for nice full-time jobs with hefty insurance benefits. Just as I was trying to take back control over my life and declare my freedom from any soul-crushing bureaucratic corporate world, the fates must have felt the need to show me exactly how much control I really have over any of that.
Just when I thought I was out, they PULL ME BACK IN.
I feel like the street in front of my apartment, which was gushing water through a rupture this morning, and now has city trucks digging up its guts through a new car-sized hole. I imagine the road saying no, this isn't good, this isn't good at all, I'm all wet, and what is this, what are you doing? I just want to be pavement, I just want to be a road again, and now I'm all messed up, can we please stop? Just stop a minute, I need some time, I need to digest this, please, stop the digging, and for the love of God, STOP DRIVING ON ME!
As the cars continue to drive down my poor street, life continues to ram its lifelike momentum down my throat, and I still feel the need to STOP. I need a full vacation, not just this mini blog-and-photography haitus. It's a good thing next week is spring break, however, it won't be much of a vacation if I just keep on doing what I'm doing, even if I've already stopped all the photography and blogging. I need to turn off the computer for an entire week or more and stay away from the internet while I try to sort all this out.
It's not personal. Just don't expect much from me for about a week. If you need to get in touch with me, then I hope you have my phone number.
listening to: the cars, M83
in my sink: 2 bowls, 2 spoons, some knives, a plate, a fork, i dunno, i'm too lazy to get up and check.
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