Five days ago, I stopped drinking for a while, because I was getting a little too out of control for my comfort while drunk, as I've posted elsewhere. However, I went to Innjoy Tuesday night and felt so out of place, just because I was the only sober one there. I tried to talk to people but all the conversations quickly degraded to "Hell yeah's" and "F**kin' A!" on the other end. To be honest, half of the problem is me, because I'm not a very good conversationalist when sober. Only, now I know I'm not really a good conversationalist when drunk, either.

Now I've stopped drinking (for a while at least), and I'm as bored as I've ever been. Now I know, I drank to relieve this intense, oppressive boredom. I'm so bored I wrote this on a post-it note:

There must be something more. There must always be something more. When you're bored you find something else to do, something else to create, something else to consume and to consume you, but what if nothing holds your interest? What if there's really seriously nothing you want to do? You sit and stare out the window, and even the view is nothing you want to see, but you won't even turn your head because the view over there isn't any bit better.

There must be something more, but you're so bored you don't even care to look away from the wall and search for it.

Yeah, I'm that bored.

I just want to make it until Friday, so I know my body is cleared, the anger and violence (which is often masked but shows up full force after a few beers) is out of my system, and I am completely reset. I mean, I used to be such a fun drunk. Well, okay, at least I had fun.

listening to: musak.
in my sink: i think i moved parts of the living room into my sink too. the entire apartment is a disaster area but i'm completely unmotivated to clean it.