This was originally written by me on August 7, 2000. I thought it was quite appropriate today.

People Suck. I mean everyone. The guy in front of me on the road this morning, who drove consistently ten miles under the speed limit, sucks. The company that thinks it can charge me five times for the same service, just by giving it five different names or categories, sucks. The lady who calls me in the middle of dinner, just to sell me some service I don't need or want, yes, you guessed it, she sucks too. Don't give that bit about how she's just an employee and just doing her job. She applied for that job. She accepted that job. She knew what it was. And for that, she sucks. Oh, but wait. There's a couple more things to consider.

You suck. That's right. You don't expect me to leave you out of this, do you? When I say everyone, I mean everyone. You are not special. Someone somewhere right now is complaining to someone else about how much you suck. I mean you're not completely nice all the time, are you? You would have to have the patience of a saint. You suck even when you don't realize it. Did you notice the guy in a hurry behind you on the road this morning? Well THAT WAS ME.

I suck. Oh, don't think I'm on some hobby horse or soap box here. I suffer no egotistical delusions that I am exempt from anything I say here. In fact, I'm worse than anyone I've mentioned so far, even you. If I tried to be nice, people would still act towards me in a way that sucks. So why even bother? Yes. You got it. Hope you're not on the same road as I am.

Accepting this as a given has actually made my life much easier. For now, as long as people continue to suck, they are doing exactly what I expect them to do. Yes, now I can drive on happily as the guy in front of me cuts me off and causes me to miss my turn, for I would expect him to do no less. I am in absolute bliss when the receptionist puts me on hold for thirty-eight minutes. I sigh in contentment when I find out accounting has neglected to write my paycheck. I can bask in the certainty that the Grand Order of Things has not been disrupted: people still suck. If someone were to actually be nice, there would be something seriously wrong in the world.

Face it, you don't want a world where people don't suck. You would have to be happy all day. You may even be expected to smile at people when you passed by. You may even whistle happy tunes. Disney would be your favorite movies. Where would the cynicism be? Who would we make fun of? WHAT WOULD WE HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT?

listening to: pj harvey
in my sink: a plate, a bowl, two spoons, a fork, a pot, a lid, a colander