Due to excessive unemployment, I've been sober six out of every seven days of the week for the past two or three weeks. Yes, I've spent entire days with sound judgement and clear thinking. THIS CAN'T GO ON.

That's why I started the "Get Tom Drunk" fund. Won't you find it within your heart to help keep Tom from facing the harsh reality of... reality... by reaching deep within your paypal accounts? For just the cost of a pint of beer, you can make sure Tom gets a... pint of beer.

Click now and feel good knowing you made me feel good.

listening to: jay leno.
in my sink: several of the roommate's water bottles.

Yes, three weeks. That's how long it took my building management to repair the shorted light fixture in my kitchen.

You may recall them from such mishaps as the condemned back porch and them taking four months to fix it.

Their name is MTD Properties, and seriously, don't ever rent from them. Trust me.

listening to: sneaker pimps
in my sink: my orange juice glass and breakfast spoon.

I hate when employers ask you to name your weaknesses. I HAVE NO WEAKNESSES YOU FOOL I'M PERFECT. At least have the decency to bring me in for an interview so I can laugh in your face when you ask. If I had a weakness it would be that I can't deal with a person like YOU who asks questions like that.

Here's my resume.

Thanks for considering. Looking forward to not hearing from you soon.

listening to: 75 minutes.
in my sink: the remains of lunch.

There was no intervention. There was, of course, financial stress.

listening to: Sound Opinions
in my sink: a water bottle.

Looks like I'm unemployed again.